THAT: Mars is the Only Known Planet Inhabited Solely by ...

THAT: Mars is the Only Known Planet Inhabited Solely by ...

Someone's going to Mars....

...eventually.

Would you like your name to fly on a NASA Test Flight? Would you like your own Boarding Pass? Click Here

What is Desert Bus for Hope?

It's that time of year again where I talk way too much about Desert Bus for Hope and ask all of you to watch and donate to their worthy cause. Starting Saturday and continuing throughout next week the crew of LoadingReadyRun, their friends, family, and random strangers abducted from the streets of a moderately sized Canadian city will be playing the worst video game ever made (Desert Bus) while holding auctions, giving away amazing prizes ,singing, dancing, wearing hats, telling jokes, and whatever else they can think of to entertain and keep themselves awake.

Please visit https://desertbus.org/ to read more about the event and tune in and watch their shenanigans.

There will also be a Desert Bus Pre-Show on Friday night featuring The Doubleclicks and Molly Lewis performing live music and other surprises.

Help make this the biggest year yet as they raise money for Child's Play.

Why the US needs to read a book or why MTV owes Syria an apology.

I think I have figured out who is responsible for this whole Syria problem (well…maybe not the whole problem, but the problem with the people of the United States arguing over what should be done about it). Reality Television. Yep folks. By inventing a cheap alternative for networks to fill their time we no longer have educational programming filling the airwaves.

I understand that citizens of the United States don’t want to go to war in a place that seemingly has no importance to us here at home. I understand that the world doesn't want the United States to just go around playing the world’s police. Unfortunately both viewpoints are not valid anymore.

I know that the words Police Action have been used many times to make War seem less offensive. Unfortunately this has also made the terms now interchangeable. When the fighting in Syria was just fighting then it really was their affair. But then outside influence was brought in on both sides of the argument. Now it’s a regional/global affair. That reason should not be enough for the United States to walk in and shut everything down. The reason that is big enough and that the world should be behind is that the world decided almost 100 years ago that using gas in war was inexcusable.  It doesn't matter if it is a civil war or a multinational conflagration. If those responsible for using gas as a weapon are not brought to justice then the fear of using it as a weapon will diminish.

I don’t think that the general public has a good idea of what we are talking about when Gas is mentioned. This is not the Tear Gas that we see used on protesters. (Although when it is used everyone seems to freak out and demand that police officers should be tried for war crimes.) Tear Gas is designed as a “Less Than Lethal” tool for crowd control. It makes your eyes hurt and water so you can’t see. It makes irritates your lungs so you don’t have the energy to keep doing what you were doing. It irritates the skin to add to both of those other problems. Tear Gas is a fast acting irritant that does its job and generally leaves your system quickly and without lasting harm. When we look at Syria we are talking about gasses like Mustard or Sarin.  Mustard Gas causes severe skin, eye, and lung damage. It is slow acting so it can take a day for symptoms to fully appear. It can cause your lungs to bleed, your eyes to swell shut, blisters to form on any contacted skin. It will spread to others through contact with contaminated clothes. It is not used to control a crowd, it is used to kill slowly and painfully and keep your enemy from being able to fight because they have to help the fallen. Sarin is worse yet because there is little hope of surviving. It attacks the nervous system and makes your body turn on itself. It causes muscles that you need to breath to spasm suffocating you. It causes total loss of bodily control so that you vomit, urinate, defecate, and a number of other things that make your last moments on earth an agonizing experience.  This is the kind of thing that the human race has decided is not allowed to be done to people.

This is where I feel that Reality Television is at fault. Before channels like Discovery, History, and TLC got on board the Reality Train, they would have been making shows that informed people of what these gases were, why they should never be used, and what happens if people are not stopped. They would have also been showing the world why different people is different countries are important to all of us. Now we only seem to care about if some random rich person is mad at another for some perceived slight against them. We must know if the drama of the week will close down some small business in the middle of the country or if they will get to take some time off to go to an award show to give a musician an award.

I hate to say this but it’s looking like the crazy housewives that thought that MTV would ruin their children might have been on to something.  Their children didn't die in some Satanic Cult, but now they have to watch that Honey Boo Boo instead of asking why it’s taken weeks to get the discussion started on why we should or shouldn't care about some small country on the other side of the world.

I don’t care if you like the President or not. This should not be a political decision. This should be about taking a stand with the rest of the world to say that using chemical weapons is wrong. Should the UN be handling this? Yes. Yes they should. The UN doesn't have an army. They can only try to make people talk. When talking fails then it comes down to the countries of the world to step up and do what is right. The United States has been there helping the world for a very long time. Even before we were a super power. When our country was still young we sent ships out to fight piracy. I’m not just talking about trying to track down people with names like Blackbeard or Captain Jack Sparrow. I’m talking about people that would attack trading vessels and kill or enslave their crews far away from our shores. We had to make people think twice before attacking Americans. It made us safe and prosperous. I admit that with that prosperity we gained a lot of ego and tried to control the world. Some things we did were good, some were just expedient and a lot of those things went bad.

While I’d love to discuss the many ways this political mess is one sides fault or the other, it just frankly doesn't matter. This is about standing up against Chemical Weapons. I would love it if we could just walk in and confiscate the weapons and leave, but that can’t happen. The people of the United States don’t want their soldiers doing that. They have decided that if we are going to risk something, let’s send a robot. Our current robots are only good at blowing things up and making cocktails and Toyotas. So we can either get the entire country drunk enough so they walk the weapons out to us or we have to blow things up. Most of Syria doesn't drink. Maybe they should. I’m sure they would love to meet one of our bartender robots and tell them their problems.

And with that bit of rambling I am going to call an end to today’s discussion. In conclusion, we need to either stop making Reality TV, or weaponize it and rain DVDs down on war zones to get people to quietly sit on their couches to wonder if they could give it all up to drive a truck in Alaska. 

That One Thing

Every day, as you go through your life, you come across things that make you happy, sad, angry, confused, or any number of other feelings. And then there is that one thing that just blindsides you. It stops your train of thought. It can stop you from moving on for a while. Sometimes its amazing like a joke that just is way to funny to you. It can take a long time to get back on pace after that. Other times its that car accident that almost happens. You have to stop what you are doing and process what almost happened. How it would have changed everything. The pain. The loss. And sometimes its something that just makes you angry. Some slight disrespect, or something not working the way it always does or should, or maybe even some plan you had getting derailed. Anything can be that little thing that upsets your day and just causes you to have to stop.

 How you deal with that one thing, that one little insignificant thing, is what your life balances on.  There is no easy answer because there never is.

And with that out of my head, and after I bang my head against the wall for another few minutes, I can get back to my day and try to make the best of it.

Ya see what I am doing there?

In honor of all of the new wonderful comments I am receiving from you, my loyal readers, I give you Monty Python's Spam Sketch.

Customer:
Morning,

Waitress:
Morning.

Customer:
What have you got?

Waitress:
Well, there's egg and bacon,
egg sausage and bacon
Egg and spam
Egg, bacon and spam
Egg, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, bacon, sausage and spam
Spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam
Spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam tomato and spam
Spam, spam, spam, egg and spam
Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam!)

Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce
served in a provencale manner with shallots and aubergines
garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top and spam.

Wife:
Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress:
Well, the spam, eggs, sausage and spam
That's not got much spam in it

Wife:
I don't want any spam!

Customer:
Why can't she have eggs, bacon, spam and sausage?

Wife:
That's got spam in it!

Customer:
Hasn't got much spam in it as spam, eggs, sausage and spam has it?

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam!...)

Wife:
Could you do me eggs, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam, then?

Waitress:
Iiiiiiiiiiiich!!

Wife:
What do you mean 'Iiiiiiiiiich'? I don't like spam!

(Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress (to choir):
Shut up!

(Choir: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress:
Shut Up! Bloody Vikings!
You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife:
I don't like spam!

Customer:
Shush dear, don't have a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it,
I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans,
spam, spam, spam, and spam!

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

Waitress:
Shut Up!! Baked beans are off.

Customer:
Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?

Waitress:
You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam,
spam and spam?

Choir (intervening):
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam.
Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Spam spam spam spam!

I can't wait to see what they inspire me to write about next.  And if you are a real person reading my blog, leave a comment about the best spam you have received, or just say hi. I'd love to hear from you.

Disney buys LucasFilm: My Initial Opinion

Everyone has been asking my opinion on Disney buying LucasFilm and making more Star Wars movies. (At least 2 people. I know. Crazy.)  I realize I have been opinionated about this in the past, but now I am hesitant to say much.

Disney can restore Star Wars to the beloved series that it is if:

1. Cut CGI by 90%. Make sets. Use Models. Use actors. Even use puppets. The magical quality of the original movies was that everything looked real because it was. 
2. Make the Thrawn Trilogy into the next movies (please lock the ideas George has been retooling for years in a box and place it under the next theme park). 
3. Stop making toy designs first. Make a quality movie and the toys will sell themselves for years. Otherwise you have to keep making new content just to sell a toy that will only sell for a few months.

This could be the best thing ever for Star Wars or the  final nail in the coffin. Either way I will be happy. I will get quality content or I will be able to finally forget the entire series.