Toothbrushes

I know I'm probably thinking this through a bit too much. I don't want to cause a panic, but I really think this is important news. That's why I am publishing this on one of the worlds least read blogs.

Toothbrushes
Silent (well, actually sort of a small buzzing sound) Killers

The toothbrush for years has been saving our teeth from destruction, but soon it could be scrambling our brains if we are not careful. Current advancements in teeth cleaning technology have brought us the affordable battery powered toothbrush, an amazing little tool that cleans your teeth quickly and efficiently.

Through some testing on my own, in the middle of the night after taking some cold medicine, a frightening discovery has shown its face. If the toothbrush were to oscillate at a resonant frequency of either the skull or the brain, a cascading vibration could be set off instantly causing a concussion or liquefaction of the brain.

I know this seems extreme, but my years of watching Star Trek & Doctor Who have taught me that cascading resonant vibrations can cause amazing amounts of damage in a very short time span. So be warned. The toothbrush that you picked up to help shave seconds off your morning, could be shaving years off your life.

Diet Root Beer

There is something wrong with Diet Root Beer. It doesn't taste like other diet sodas. Don't get me wrong, that's a good thing. I hate the taste of most diet sodas. But it is missing the happy feeling that a regular Root Beer gives you. Its a very subtle thing. I get the feeling that it wants to be something else. Not Root Beer, and definitely not diet anything. Maybe it wants to be an accountant.